Always Near

You are kept on my chapped lips

and you are kept in my normal scent

You, darling, are forever near me

You are in the glare of my favorite

sunglasses

and the only cd I played in my first car

There’s no forgetting

because like my collarbones

and constellated freckles

You will always be a part

of my entirety

I want to stay to see the sun rise

I need to breathe when the music's softer

I can only think if the sky is dark

I'm supposed to sleep

On 100 milligrams of induced

Nightmares

But I can't feel when the air sticks

From the blankets to my socks

So fondly my mind drifts

Like it's been there before

And it has

I've visited there 3 times

In the past week

Just to see if anyone was home

I can't stand the light reflecting the water in your eyes 

And our breath catching the hair on your arm 

Or the wrinkles in between your eyebrows 

When you look at me for the first time that day 

Because when you pause and bite your lip 

In the middle of saying something important 

I pray you won't stop

For the sake of my racing pulse to understand 

I need you

Simplistic views and conversation was as fresh 

as the zephyr 

But as lost as the stream 

that we couldn't quite see

He needs composure 

and I'm a crashing storm

The question kept arising of

Who Are You 

My answers were lost in pages

of journal entries from 

the months of relaxation and meditation 

Rocks in my shoes will be a constant 

reminder of the night we walked

to the edge of our minds 

but then traced back our steps 

Into the valley 

I understand that you're worth the pain 

That maybe when I wake up to reality 

You've stuck around 

Because the rain sounds clearer when you're here 

And because the tears come slower 

But what if I'm terrified 

My wrinkled heart can't handle strong hands

Pulling the strings attached to each emotion pulsing through my veins 

So carefully

Let me breakdown

Allow me to collapse

The one

Staying so focused on 

him being found

He has to be somewhere

but in arms reach 

I'm more than ready 

to meet you to see you

see me where

most are blind 

He's the one 

I am waiting 

But now I wonder

If maybe he's looking

for the one

too

Which makes me the one

that he's waiting 

searching

hoping for 

Sorry I haven't

Sorry I didn't 

My head

My mouth it just aches

The metal in my skull

Is weighing me

Holding me down 

Pinned to this couch 

In silence or my being will

Implode

The blazing energy stayed

Down my throat 

And into my lungs

The only way to keep me

And to find my burning lungs

On track

I left my eyes locked 

On you locking your eyes 

On me which tempted the idea

That you darling are

The only medicine 

The only cure 

For my dancing imagination

That rescues my aching bones