The one

Staying so focused on 

him being found

He has to be somewhere

but in arms reach 

I'm more than ready 

to meet you to see you

see me where

most are blind 

He's the one 

I am waiting 

But now I wonder

If maybe he's looking

for the one

too

Which makes me the one

that he's waiting 

searching

hoping for 

Sorry I haven't

Sorry I didn't 

My head

My mouth it just aches

The metal in my skull

Is weighing me

Holding me down 

Pinned to this couch 

In silence or my being will

Implode

The blazing energy stayed

Down my throat 

And into my lungs

The only way to keep me

And to find my burning lungs

On track

I left my eyes locked 

On you locking your eyes 

On me which tempted the idea

That you darling are

The only medicine 

The only cure 

For my dancing imagination

That rescues my aching bones 

Eighteen years old and my mom pays for my gas 

Eighteen years old and I can't keep my medicine in my room

I am eighteen years old and the word "fat" bothers me

I can't talk to you about calories or diets 

And not the unmistakable weight loss supplements 

Because I've abused my freedom to access those

It doesn't matter how often the world shouts praises at your feet touching the ground

The one time a person told you direct instructions of how low you are will stick closer and harder

We live in a world that is surrounded by bulldozers 

Who are only demolishing any sense you have that you might succeed 

That you might mean something because there are too many girls and boys 

That believe they don't 

That push themselves down so far and sometimes get stuck

Make it different

Write your story in black and blue and underline important things

Because that is why you're here

Today is suicide prevention day. Suicide is too close to too many people and we need it to stop and we need to change something. Stop making offensive jokes. Stop letting people sit by themselves. Stop being rude and stop being selfish. But keep listening. Keep inviting people to tag along. Keep being the people that I know can save lives. 

To go back and relive the moment of impact

To reintroduce the screams of my mother 

It doesn't seem right 

The distracted driver left with out a quiver 

But we stayed there awaiting the moment  

For our heads would stop pounding 

For our legs to stay still

"There isn't any damage"

She lied about the speed 

But our necks felt the jump 

Blurry images of emergency vehicles asked me my mothers name

I couldn't spell I couldn't remember 

Then marked the police report with my nervous penmanship 

Because she was slowly sobbing

Sorry this is rough. I just needed to write. 

 Shatters so sharp 

you could bleed on it's edges

Does it seem biased that you left

me here in pain

While adjusting isn't a problem

for you

His voice reminds me of you 

Their love knocks on my memory

And the breeze of cologne 

agonizes me to the bone

There is not a cure nor prescription available 

For my illness that confines me

That they nicknamed 

broken heart

This poem is written for a person very close to me that is going through a hard time. I love you. Hang in there. 

"Hold onto your heart"